An unending battle.

Image courtesy – Freepik

Isn’t it surreal that a single moment, a single thought or a single decision has the potential to turn our lives upside down? 

Life, indeed, is very strange. Everything seems so perplexing. It could be melancholic, and yet revitalising. We often find ourselves looking for peace in the midst of chaos. We wish to live a serene life but we are always surrounded by an aura of negativity.

Why is it that the language of hate, is boisterous but effective, and the language of love, tranquil but weak?

Why do we fail to appreciate the rectitude of a person but always succeed in breaking someone’s morale?

These unanswered questions really trouble me. The moment I deep dive into it, I realise I’m simply fighting an unending battle with my own self.

It’s quite astonishing to see the ‘invisible’ boundaries that we’ve created amongst us.

What’s even more surprising is how someone else’s actions could turn a caring person into a stoic one.

Fear has enclosed my mind like the wall of Kremlin.

My heart now, is nothing but a graveyard for the thoughts that I’ve buried really very deep.

Life at this point is mundane. Nothing really sweetens my day anymore. The nights have never been so lonely before. My mind begs another question, the most important of all : What exactly is the purpose of my life?

And this very question has afflicted me the most, to put it mildly.


  1. Jamil permit me to quote a wise sage who said “a gentle tongue breaks a bone” and again another who said Love never fails. Though the angry seem to be stronger in the end the meek shall inherit the earth and delight themselves in the abundance of peace. Peace be with you brother

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      1. Here it is from ‘The Passion Translation’ – Psa 45:1  For the Pure and Shining One, by the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan. A contemplative song of instruction for the Loved One. To the melody of “Lilies”. My heart is on fire, boiling over with passion. Bubbling up within me are these beautiful lyrics as a lovely poem to be sung for the King. Like a river bursting its banks, I’m overflowing with words, spilling out into this sacred story.”
        The King – is Jesus….and your heart longs for Him …and yet it is He Who is in you..the One we awake to..


  2. I loved reading your post.
    Your line about how a caring person can become stoic, touched me. And yet as I read your words your care was running through every word you wrote.
    Nothing can ever take that away when it is how you are made even if it hides.
    I felt it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You said: ‘We often find ourselves looking for peace in the midst of chaos’.
    I don’t think anyone would search out chaos in order to find peace, but it makes sense that we would look for peace overridden by more chaos than we may be able handle, don’t you think?
    Personally I find my peace with nature moving about with my camera!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your posts are always so though provoking. For what it’s worth, I’m middle aged and have lost so many relatives in the last four years and my Mother in April. This string of death and subsequent grief and some ugly unnecessary cruelty has caused me to contemplate the same thoughts your post evokes. For me my conclusion is this: one day we all end and as we grow closer to the end, the things that mean the most and are irreplaceable are the people who stayed and our memories. My purpose in life is to love and be loved, to practice mindfulness of every moment I’m gifted to live. Some days it goes better than others. I wish you well on your journeys and always enjoy your words.

    Liked by 1 person

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